LADBABY Mum Roxanne Hoyle, 41, on laughing her way through birth and navigating the parenting juggle
If I’m being entirely honest, motherhood wasn’t top of my mind.
During my 20s, I was busy working and surviving in London as an art director in the advertising industry.
I didn’t actually ever think I’d find someone to start a family with.
Then I met Mark [now 38] in 2011 in a nightclub.
My initial impression of him was that he was very tall – he’s 6ft 8in – dark-haired and very handsome.
We had so much fun together, I was laughing constantly.
Back then, we didn’t have a lot of money and were living in a bedsit.
Saying that, I started to think: “I would love to have children with him – let’s get on with it!”
We married in 2015, and the following year I was pregnant with our first son.
When I found out, I was in shock, while Mark was screaming with joy.
The pregnancy was difficult, though, as I experienced hyperemesis gravidarum, which Kate Middleton also had, and I felt sick all the time.
I struggled with it a lot, and for much of my pregnancy I felt very lethargic.
Phoenix arrived on April 1, 2016, at Watford General Hospital.
During the birth, I was all about the epidural – and laughter. Mark made me laugh so much while I was in labour.
Having a newborn, however, was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced.
Luckily, Mark is quite a hands-on dad and we did shifts through the night.
The days were long, though, and by the time Mark got home from work, he was only able to spend 15 minutes with Phoenix before his bedtime.
It was around then that Mark started posting videos of our parenting experience on Facebook.
One of them, where he turned a £4 toolbox into a lunchbox for Phoenix, went viral.
Then we started doing videos together.
‘THEY DESERVE PRIVACY’
Two years later, on May 29, 2018, we had our second son, Kobe.
We videoed some of the birth for our YouTube channel – five to six minutes of what was a two-day event.
I’m very grateful for those videos now.
I watch them and I’m reminded of some of the things I hadn’t remembered.
When it comes to the debate on “sharenting” – parents sharing content featuring their kids on social media – my opinion is that everyone can do what feels right for their family, as long as they have the child’s best interest at heart.
When we started LadBaby, social media was very different to what it is now – for starters, TikTok didn’t even exist.
In the beginning, the boys appeared a little bit more than they do now.
We decided that when they were at school, with friends or playing football, we wouldn’t share them – they have lives and deserve privacy.
If the boys didn’t want to be featured, I’d respect their decision.
But I’ll always remain grateful for social media, as it changed our life.
When the boys were babies, I’d wear them in a sling while working.
I’m very lucky – working in social media has allowed me to be with my children more
Roxanne Hoyle
I’ve been in boardrooms and on photo shoots with the kids, as well as recording our Christmas No.1s with them.
I’m very lucky – working in social media has allowed me to be with my children more.
Phoenix is nine now and has an old head on his shoulders. He loves reading and Pokémon.
He’s good at programming and he does animation, while Kobe, who’s seven, is very sporty and has been playing basketball since he was two.
When it comes to housework, Mark and I are very much of the divide-and-conquer school of thinking.
We split it 50:50 – Mark will do things like the washing-up and ironing, and I cook.
Still, there’s a lot of mum guilt in parenting, such as if you can’t make school pick-up.
Our kids are very grounded, though, and they understand.
Turning 40 last year helped me realise I probably should have been a little bit easier on myself as a parent.
I realised that, actually, I haven’t done such a bad job.
But when you’re so tired from nights spent awake with a teething baby, you feel like they’re never going to end.
You always think to yourself: “I could have been better or tried harder.”
But on reflection, I see now that I’ve done everything I could, and I’d do it all the same again.
Follow Roxanne on Instagram @Ladbabymum and on TikTok @Ladbabyofficial.
